Toddlers are busy bodies. It’s hard for them to sit in the high chair at meal time and eat. Learn how to help your toddler sit at the dinner table to eat.

Toddlers are curious creatures! And this is a big reason they have a hard time sitting still when it’s time for meals. If you’ve got a toddler who won’t sit for dinner time, don’t fret. Part of this is nature’s way of helping the toddler achieve his developmental milestones. 

This is normal stuff!

But that doesn’t make it any less frustrating. The good news is that toddlers can focus. The bad news is their focus is brief. 

In this article, you’ll learn some of my pediatric dietitian tips for helping toddlers learn to sit down to eat (maybe the whole meal!), even if they’re a picky eater, or if only for a brief amount of time.

Tips for the Toddler Who Won’t Sit Down to Eat

While you cannot make a child eat, you can avoid power struggles and set up an environment that encourages attention and focus on the task at hand, eating. 

Remember, toddlers have a short attention span, and when they come to the table hungry, they tend to consume most of their calories early and in a brief amount of time.

1. Remove all distractions 

Yes, that means books, TV, animals, and toys. These distractions make toddlers divide their focus on eating and place it on something else. In doing so, they can become disconnected from their appetite cues, increasing the likelihood of under-eating or overeating. A distraction-free mealtime environment will help younger children focus on eating.

2. Wait until mealtime is ready 

Toddlers get fidgety when they’re sitting around with nothing to do. Some parents put their toddler at the dining table in a high chair or booster seat before the meal is ready. They expect them to wait patiently! 

My advice: Get the meal ready first, place it on the table, then bring your toddler into the chair. 

Don’t waste precious time hoping your toddler will wait or behave while waiting. He’ll probably get bored and act up, like throw food or try to escape the kitchen table. 

3. Keep your expectations realistic 

Sometimes we get caught up in dreams of young children sitting at the table, waiting patiently for the meal to be placed in front of them, excitedly eating everything, and pleasantly asking to be excused.

Wait. What??!

The truth is, toddlers don’t sit for long periods of time. In my experience, the average toddler sits for about 5-15 minutes for a meal. Less time at snack times. They often want to eat their favorite foods, show fear of new foods, have short attention spans, and consume a limited variety of foods.

Remember, feeding a toddler is a long game. Sitting in a normal chair, enjoying healthy foods, and following the family’s mealtime rules happens over time with positive experiences and parental patience.

4. Sit with your toddler 

I see this happening all the time. The toddler sits in a highchair, at the counter or table, all by themself. How boring! Nobody – not you or I – wants to, or enjoys, eating alone. 

Not to mention, there’s no adult role model showing the toddler how to have good behavior at the table. No conversation, which boosts language skills, or connection with other humans going on. A missed opportunity!

Bring your toddler to the meal table with the whole family as early as possible. They’ll gain new skills simply by watching and engaging with others at the table, and reap the emotional benefits of eating together.

5. Use a visual timer

Toddlers are new thinkers. They’re absorbing everything around them, and learning a lot. Food tastes good or not. Unfamiliar food is scary and they are tentative. All of this is part of their developmental makeup.

If your toddler won’t sit down to eat at the table, try using a little timer to show them how long you want them to sit still and eat. This will also give them a challenge, and toddlers enjoy little games like this. Make this fun, not punitive.

Set the timer low (like 2 to 3 minutes to start) and celebrate when your toddler makes it to the end. Gradually increase the time to a level that’s appropriate for toddlers (5-15 minutes).

6. Explain why it’s important to sit down and eat

Toddlers can learn why they should sit down to eat at mealtime, and do well when you can explain it in toddler terms. Try something like:

“We have nap time, play time, bath time, and eat time. This is our eat time.” 

Repeat yourself. 

Repetition will help your toddler learn the concept and the language you use. In the future, this is how your toddler will speak about, and adapt to, your family routines and mealtime rituals.

7. Maintain a feeding schedule

Toddlers have high nutritional needs compared to their body size. Eating three meals and three snacks (solid food or nutritious beverage between main meals) helps them meet their nutrient requirements.

Even with picky toddlers, maintaining this eating schedule will help both you and your toddler. For you, you may relax about your toddler’s eating because they will have several opportunities each day to eat. Your toddler will learn the routine and adapt to the food rhythm in your home.

8. Match food with toddler skills

Toddlers eat with their hands and utensils. Utensils can be more challenging, but worth putting out at meals and snacks. Practice makes perfect! Use finger food for little kids. They’re easier to eat and encourage independence.

9. Upgrade the chair

​I often see toddlers who are ready to upgrade their high chair to a booster seat. When toddlers are kept in their high chair for too long, they can get frustrated and their eating can suffer. Same with the toddler in a booster who is ready for a regular chair. If your toddler is escaping or refusing to get into their chair or come to the family meal, it may be a sign your toddler is ready for a seat upgrade.

Resources

Of course, feeding the toddler can be challenging – even on a good day! Here are some additional resources to help:

• Check out the courses, books and workshops we have in our TNC Shop. 
• Toddler Portion Sizes: How Much to Feed a Tot
• My Toddler Won’t Eat (A Step-by-Step Guide)