Learn how to use ‘the kitchen is closed’ with your kids and the rest of the family.

Have you ever told your child the kitchen is closed?

If you haven’t, you’re missing out on a powerful feeding boundary for children that may minimize unhealthy eating behaviors and help a child regulate his eating and appetite.

As a pediatric nutritionist, I help parents set positive boundaries around food and eating so their kids develop healthy eating habits. 

Setting boundaries is part of being good at food parenting. They are part of using a diplomatic style of feeding.

But, some parents have questions about how to set limits around food in a nice way. 

Here’s an easy phrases to use that supports healthy changes around feeding and eating: “The kitchen is closed.“

Closed or Open Kitchen?

Is your kitchen always open with easy access to food? Or always a mess? Always in food preparation mode?

Is your child constantly roaming in and out, looking in the pantry or refrigerator for something to eat?

Grazing on snacks? Helping himself to food without asking?

You probably know this isn’t exactly a healthy way to manage food in your home, or develop healthy habits around eating. 

If you’re like other parents in America, having a kitchen open all day long doesn’t work well.  

It might even make you quite frustrated and worried about the eating habits your child is developing.

A Kitchen is Closed Policy Can Help

While some parents might believe that closing the kitchen might feel cruel to children, I find it to be a healthy way to set limits around access to food.

Let me be clear, though: Closing the kitchen does not involve remodeling your kitchen, or adding new doors to close it off from the family. 

I’m not being literal here. I’m speaking figuratively. 

What I mean by the phrase ‘the kitchen is closed’ is this: The kitchen is off limits right now.

When the kitchen is closed, it:

• Allows time between meals and snacks so that children can build up an appetite 
• Encourages predictability around the timing of meals and snacks
• Supports the foundation of structure and rhythm for daily meals and snacks
• Diverts children to other activities that have nothing to do with food

When the kitchen is always open:

• Limits around food and eating are missing, and it will be hard to be your best at parenting your child and food
• Food is harder to monitor because you’ll be unable to accurately track your child’s food consumption
• Your child is more likely to graze, snack frequently, and overeat 

Setting This Boundary Helps 

“The kitchen is closed right now,” is a particularly useful phrase when you’ve done a good job at providing meals and snacks on a schedule throughout the day.

You want to make sure you have regular times when the kitchen is open. For example, “The kitchen is open for breakfast (or for snack, for lunch, etc).”  

Then, when your child comes to you an hour after eating dinner, wanting something else to eat, you can say “the kitchen is closed right now,” and set a clear boundary.

If this is initially upsetting to your child, assure him that another meal or snack will be available soon. 

Be explicit with the timing of the next meal or snack. 

For example, “The kitchen is closed right now, but it will be open for afternoon snack at 3 o’clock.”

Being clear with the timing reassures your child that he will get food in the future, which builds trust and a sense of security.

Although your child may not be happy to hear they have to wait, they will gradually adapt and respect your food boundaries, learning to eat when meals and snacks are served.

Have you closed your kitchen? Or, used other food boundaries for your kids?

Resources

I’ve got more parent education resources including parent classes, workshops and nutrition booklets to help you feed and nourish your child better. Take a look!

This article was originally published in 2010 and updated in December 2024.