Weight stigma is damaging to any child. Learn the impact and what you can do to protect your child.

Are you concerned your child’s weight or body size? Maybe you’re worried about their health, too.

You want your child to be healthy and make good food choices. It’s easy to make an innocent comment when they take a second helping or snack on too many sweets and treats between meals, or comment to them about their body.

Negative comments, criticism, or teasing a child about their body or weight can damage their self-esteem and body image.

Kids internalize shame when they hear these messages. Even if you’re well-intentioned, the message you mean to send to your child may not be the message they get. 

In this article, you’ll learn about:

• common types of weight discrimination (with examples)
• how people participate in behaviors associated with weight stigma
• the impact on a child’s self-esteem 
• how to talk to kids about their bodies
• what to do if your child is experiencing weight stigma

What is Weight Stigma?

If your child is growing up with a larger body, there’s a good chance they’ve experienced weight stigma. It’s a form of weight-based discrimination and includes weight-based teasing from family members, friends, physical education teachers, and healthcare providers. In fact, the Obesity Action Coalition, an authority in childhood obesity, estimates that 47% of girls and 34% of boys have experienced weight stigma in the form of teasing.

Weight stigma develops from negative stereotypes and attitudes about body size, otherwise known as size bias, or weight bias. It’s the belief that thin bodies are healthy, and fat bodies are unhealthy. These beliefs drive negative attitudes, behaviors, and actions toward overweight children and individuals with larger bodies.

Examples of Weight Stigma in Children

Experiences of weight stigma vary in intensity and include:

• Teasing – verbal “put-downs,” harassment, name-calling
• Social Exclusion – not being invited to parties, sleep-overs, and other social events
• Weight-based Bullying
  • Physical Bullying – aggression toward young people with excess weight; hitting; shoving
  • Cyber-bullying (Bullying on social media) – harassment, spreading lies, gossip, “cancelling” a child because of their size
• Unfair treatment – experiencing fewer opportunities, such as being selected for a school play or sports team

The Impact of Weight Stigmatization 

It’s important to know that a child with a larger body is at increased risk of weight stigma. In fact, studies have shown that nearly all children who carry extra body fat experience cyberbullying.

Discrimination of a child based on their weight status or physical appearance is incredibly harmful. Studies have shown far-reaching emotional and mental health impacts, including low self-esteem, social isolation, depressive symptoms, more weight gain, worsening of health conditions, reduced quality of life, and suicidal thoughts. 

Even if a child has a smaller body, there’s a good chance they may experience adverse health outcomes from discrimination. 

Internal Bias, Shame, and Body Image 

A child internalizes shame and a sense that there is something wrong with them when they experience weight stigma. They internalize a bias about themselves and often think they need to change in order to be loved and accepted. 

Furthermore, when a child gets messages from their surroundings that they are not good enough – their bodies are not acceptable — they begin to become dissatisfied with their body and dislike them. This can lead to poor body image and dysfunctional eating behaviors like dieting, binge eating, skipping meals, and cutting out categories of food, like dairy or grains.

Studies show that socio-cultural pressure and pressure from parents to decrease body weight may increase the amount of food teens eat when they’re not hungry and affect how they think about food.

How to Talk to Your Child about Their Body

The best place to start is by not making comments about your child’s body or weight at all.

Here are some other tips to consider:

• Have a neutral stance about food. This might be hard because we know the difference between foods your child needs for growth and those foods that might interfere with children’s physical health. When you classify foods as “good” or “bad,” your child feels like they’re doing something wrong when they eat “bad” foods.
• Don’t over-emphasize health. “Health” is vague, and your child might misinterpret your comments about ‘being healthy’ as ones about their weight or body.
• Focus on how your child feels and how food helps them grow, get strong and have more energy for life, school and sports.
• Embrace and accept all different body shapes and sizes. All bodies are good bodies!
• Neutralize self-consciousness but don’t “fix” food choices or weight. For example, if your child tells you he’s bigger than the other kids at school, don’t say: “Well, you need to eat more vegetables and exercise more.” Instead, take the opportunity to shift their perspective with a comment like, “Everyone is different,” or “There are many advantages to being bigger!” Then ask them what they think.

Read more about How to Talk with Children about Their Size.

How to Help if Your Child is Experiencing Weight Stigma

It’s heart-breaking to have a child experience bullying, teasing, and social exclusion, but when it’s due to their size or appearance, it’s especially harmful to their psychological health.

• Keep a body neutral home. Focus on body function and health, not your child’s appearance or size. 

• Don’t tie health to size (and vice versa). Larger-bodied individuals can be healthy. Size does not dictate one’s health.

• Keep the lines of communication open. Stay close to your child and listen to their experiences. A listening ear can help.

• Make your home a safe space. Children need safety and unconditional love and acceptance, no matter their size. Make sure your home is a sanctuary of acceptance and don’t allow any weight stigma within your home.

• Educate schools and adults who interact with your child about weight stigma. Bullying, whether in person or online, should be addressed immediately.

• Speak up. If healthcare professionals or teachers are stigmatizing your child by weighing them in public or commenting inappropriately, speak up. Weight bias is rampant in our society, and medical professionals and educators may not realize they’re perpetuating harm.

Resources

Tune in to The Nourished Child podcast! Or check out my books and programs designed to help you nourish your child, inside and out.

• Teen Gaining Weight? How to Help without Hurting
• The Body Image Book for Girls (podcast)
• Body Image Issues for Boys (podcast)
• Kids Thrive at Every Size
• The Nourished Child Blueprint