Handle sweets and treats in your child’s life using the 90 – 10 Rule for food, which balances sweets and treats with nutritious foods.

By far one of the most popular concerns parents have today is around managing sweets and treats in their children’s lives. Sugary, sweet and high fat, fried foods (or sometimes both!) are prevalent in our children’s modern-day diet and balancing them can be tricky.

I use a simple approach I call the 90 – 10 Rule to help families balance sweets and treats so they don’t get out of control.

And it’s pretty effective. 

What Qualifies as Sweets and Treats?

Sweets and treats are those foods that contain high amounts of sugar or fat, and as a result, calories. They are high in flavor, and low in nutrition. Examples are: birthday cake, cupcakes, cookies, soda, candy, bagged chips, and fried foods. Plus, they’re also yummy and attractive, making them irresistible for children.

These foods can be problematic in a child’s diet because, when eaten regularly, they may tip the diet to the unhealthy side.

Some parents think they need to be wiped out of a child’s diet, but that isn’t necessary. Tightly controlling sweets and treats can backfire. Children can perceive this as being too restrictive, and this may lead to sneaking food or overeating them when they’re available.

What is the 90 – 10 Rule for Food?

Many kids can’t get through the day without getting offered treats. These foods show up at school, on the athletic fields, at church, friend’s houses, and more.

The 90 – 10 Rule categorized nourishing foods from sweets and treats, and creates a nutritious balance of foods that can be quite enjoyable, too.

The 90 – 10 Rule makes it easy to sift through foods, categorize them, and decide the what, where and when of eating sweets and treats.

The best part? Kids are able to grasp this concept and begin using it.

How to Manage Sweets and Treats in Your Child’s Diet

I developed the 90-10 Rule for food back in 2008, when I was working with families in my private practice. Families found it helpful, easy to understand, and practical to put into place. Kids easily grasped the concept and began to make thoughtful decisions about which sweets and treats they would choose, and when they would eat them.

Here’s how you can put the 90 – 10 Rule in action for your family:

Step One: Choose Mostly Nourishing Foods for Meals and Snacks

Nourishing foods come from the MyPlate guide and include: 

• Lean protein sources such as egg, beef, chicken, lamb, and beans
• Dairy products such as milk, and milk products like yogurt and cottage cheese
• Fruit (all varieties; 100% juice in limited portions)
• Vegetables (all types; frozen, canned, dried, and fresh)  
• Whole grains such as whole wheat bread, whole grain cereal, pasta and rice

Ninety percent (90%) of your child’s food consumption during the day should come from these nourishing foods.

Step Two: Identify Sweets and Treats

Identify the typical sweets and treats in your child’s diet, including: 

• Desserts like cake, cookies, brownies, ice cream, etc
• Candy
• Sugary beverages like lemonade, sweet tea, and other sugar-sweetened beverages
• Fried food such as potato chips, tortilla chips, French fries, chicken nuggets, and onion rings 

Step Three: Determine the Food Balance

Collaborate with your child and decide which sweets and treats will be eaten during the day, and when.

10% of what your child eats during the day, on average, comes from sweets and treats. 

For most healthy, growing kids, this will end up being 1 or 2 sweets or treats, on average, each day.

How to Use the 90 – 10 Rule in Real Life Situations

When you start using the 90 – 10 Rule, make sure your child understands which foods fall into each category, and which foods they should be eating most of the time. When possible, let your child choose which sweets or treats they want to have. This will give them a sense of control and builds autonomy. 

At a Party

Your child has a party after the school play and there will be lots of indulgent foods. Here’s what you can do: Describe what will be available, like soda, chips and ice cream. Help your child choose which sweets and treats they like and want the most. Will it be the soda or the ice cream? Encourage the food that is most desirable and meaningful for them. 

At Church

Sally knows that she will have the opportunity to have donuts after church on Sunday, but there will also be cake and ice cream at the afternoon birthday party she is attending.  Her parent encourages her to think about how she will balance these sweets and treats. Following the 90 – 10 Rule, Sally opts for cake and ice cream at the party and skips the donuts at church.

At Sporting Events  

Brent is playing baseball in the afternoon and as usual, he grabs a slushy drink at the concession stand. He’s been using the 90-10 rule for a while. Instead of eating dessert after dinner, he passes on the bowl of ice cream, remembering he chose a treat earlier at the ballpark. 

Wouldn’t It be Easier to Eliminate Sweets and Treats?

As parents, we know there are endless options for treats, sweets, and snacks throughout the day.

Eliminating them is not practical, reasonable, or effective. As I mentioned earlier, food restriction, or tightly controlling food, especially sweets, is a counterproductive feeding practice.

Research tells us that some children may become more responsive and attracted to foods that are scarce or forbidden, potentially sneaking or overeating them when they have the opportunity to do so.

Balancing the diet with mostly nutritious foods and limited sweets and treats is really the key to healthy eating. It’s the best of both worlds — balanced, nutritious food for growth, development and health plus indulgent foods to satisfy desire and help children learn to navigate these foods in their diet.

Sweets and treats, sugary drinks, and fried foods are not going to disappear. They are prominent in our modern world and they will continue to be. When you try to tightly control treats or your child’s eating, your child may struggle with food.

Lifelong Benefits with the 90-10 Rule

The goal here is to help your child pause and think through what she will eat during the day, and give them an opportunity to think ahead and practice decision-making skills with eating.

This means you are shifting a bit of the food decision-making over to your child. Kids are black and white thinkers, and the 90 – 10 Rule aligns with their thought processes. Kids are able to  identify sweets and treats quite easily. They can make choices about which Fun Foods they want to eat, and fully enjoy their treats. Making positive, thoughtful decisions about what to eat is a skill that can last a lifetime!

Have you tried the 90 – 10 Rule? How did it go?

Resources

• Our on demand library of workshops, classes and guidebooks to help you feed better so your child can eat better.
• The Nourished Child Blueprint – our signature course about food, feeding and child development.
• Kids Thrive at Every Size: How to Nourish Your Big, Small, or In-Between Child for a Lifetime of Health and Happiness

This article was updated from its original in August 2024.